Why Is It "Black Lives Matter"?
Also, glorified cyberbullying, missing our barbers and butchers during quarantine, and butter cake.
I have to apologize to my readers for missing last week. I was on vacation and while I tried really hard to motivate myself to pay attention to things just enough to write a newsletter for you, I couldn’t. As a way to make up for it, this week’s recipe is hands-down one of the best desserts you will ever eat.
Watching TV last night, my oldest daughter (8) say the phrase "black lives matter" on television. Naturally, being eight an unaware, her first question was "don't white lives matter too?"
It is a very fair question, and being eight years old and having no real experience seeing racial injustice it led to a lot of questions about all lives mattering. So, we had to have The Conversation.
That sentiment that “all lives matter” is perfectly fine, because that's how we want our daughters to be raised. We want them to see beyond the color of a person's skin and focus on loving people for who they are. But, we also had to explain why the statement is "black lives matter" and not "all lives matter," which was the conclusion she'd come to initially.
All lives do matter, and there is a movement out there to condemn anyone who says that phrase as though it is a racist statement. It is not. "All lives matter" is the natural conclusion of the "black lives matter" movement (not to be confused with the organization called Black Lives Matter, which is a different matter entirely). It is not the moment we live in, however, and there is a reason we should be focusing on the importance of black lives.
It is not that black lives matter more than any other lives, and it's not that we think everyone believes black lives don't matter. The fact is that while things are not perfect, they are far from being as bad as they were even a few decades ago. We have continued to make major strides in this country with regards to racial equality. But, you never see the almost perfect when the flaws are so garish that they ruin the image.
It is not that white lives, or any other lives, don't matter. It is that black lives in many instances have not mattered enough. That is why it is far more appropriate to say "black lives matter" rather than try to force in an "all lives matter". The former is the current state, the latter is the goal.
As we had this discussion (mind you, this column is the more grown-up version of that talk), one thing that did stand out is how easy it is for a child to understand this. A couple of follow-up questions and we knew she had it. For someone like her, the goal is love, and we should all be doing a better job of showing that love.
Black and white, love is love and there has never been a greater need for love and grace than right now.
“Cancel Culture” Is Glorified Cyberbullying
And it will end in tragedy.
I’ve been teaching for a handful of years now, and I’ve watched in our country as many of the social problems ailing students have turned from the traditional means of bullying to cyberbullying. It has become one of the dominating issues of our time, and it has been a literal killer.
As a teacher, I have watched bullying and cyberbullying create emotional and psychological problems for students, forcing them out of classrooms and even their schools, all because kids at that age realize the power their words can have over others and they have people they want to use that power against. It can cause so many issues for students who are otherwise still completely unprepared emotionally for what the world might throw at them.
In the present era, I am concerned that society’s rush to condemn people for youthful indiscretions will result in some of what we call “cancel culture” turning into glorified cyberbullying, and the results will be extremely tragic for those involved.
The New York Times ran a story last week about high school students who are utilizing social media to call out their “racist” peers. Accounts on Instagram, SnapChat, and others are being used to expose their peers, and these accounts are quickly amassing followers. If a teenager makes a stupid comment or a racially-tinged one, they will have a bright spotlight shone on them, with thousands of followers who will join in the shaming of these teenagers.
The worst case is that some of the students who were exposed in all this will feel increased social pressure and the most vulnerable ones will see only one way out of it. It’s not hard to imagine that a student (or several) will react violently — either against others or against themselves — in response to this social pressure.
What’s worse, though, is the media’s willingness to encourage this. A handful of reporters tweeted about the story in a positive way, completely ignoring the impact it could have on students.
This doesn’t excuse the use of racially-tinged language or offensive statements, mind you. But what we should be teaching our kids to do is talk about and explain why something is racist or hurtful. We should be encouraging them to open dialogue with classmates and to help each other understand.
We should not be giving students the power to destroy each other, whether the offender actually meant harm or not. That is the worst possible way to handle the situation, and it creates a culture of shaming and ostracizing rather than healing.
It will also lead to violent retaliation against the ones “exposing” these students. This will start fights that are destined only to escalate. At a time when so many are worried about violence at schools, we have people actively encouraging behaviors that will lead to more of it.
We are letting mob rule into the schools, and there is an overwhelming aggressive collective ignorance that turns this monster into something that now targets our kids.
Homestyle: Missing Our Barbers And Our Butchers
On this week’s episode of Homestyle, my co-host Leigh Guidry and I lament how much we miss the relationships we’d built with local businesses.
Barbers and hairdressers are among the top ones we’ve missed, but getting out and visiting other local businesses we’d developed a good relationship with (places like a local butcher, other local stores, etc.) has been a joy as things started getting opened up again. Hopefully, we’re getting through all this and realizing how important those relationships are.
If you want to hear more, you can always go back and listen to previous episodes, and we’d love to hear your feedback. Subscribe, rate, and review the podcast here, and if you have cooking, crafting, or family activity ideas, you can find us on Facebook and on Instagram (@Homestylepod).
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The Homestyle Podcast is a joint venture between myself and one of my best friends, education reporter Leigh Guidry. Throughout each episode, we discuss cooking, crafting, and other hobbies as well as how we make sure to spend time with our families despite how insanely busy life can be. The goal of the podcast has always been to take a moment to focus on what’s really important because, at the end of the day, family and life is more important than whatever distractions are going on in the world around us.
Recipe Of The Week: Butter Cake
So, I have a confession to make: This is not the greatest butter cake you will ever eat.
That title currently belongs to the chef at The Grand Marlin at Pensacola Beach. Their version was a little cake that was borderline gooey (in a good way) on the inside while the outside was a crisp crust. It was topped with a very good vanilla cream and sliced strawberries. I don’t know how they managed to get their textures so perfect, but God as my witness, I will figure it out.
In the meantime, here is a version that comes from a cookbook based out of my hometown.
1 cup butter
2 cups sugar
5 eggs
2 cups cake flour*
1 tsp. vanilla
In an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugar together until smooth.
Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.
Add the cake flour one cup at a time while mixing and then add the vanilla.
Spread the batter in a greased and floured 10-inch tube pan and bake at 300 degrees for one hour.
*If you don’t have or can’t get to cake flour, take one cup of all-purpose flour, remove two tablespoons of it, and add two tablespoons of corn starch. Sift the two together no less than three times. One cup of this mixture will do the job of one cup of cake flour. It’s not perfect, but it’s good in a pinch.
Final Thoughts
Folks, there is a resurgence of the novel coronavirus out there. Do yourselves a favor and wear the mask. The countries that have been most effective at combatting COVID-19 have mandated public mask use. We cannot make a “but my liberty!!!!” claim on this one. This is about your health and well being and the health and well being of people around you.
Stay healthy and safe out there.